Excerpt from transcription, audio
recorded on Thursday, February 6, 2025
Apria: My name is Apria, and I'm 20 years old. I've been in Houston my entire life.
Ameer: Okay. So what got you into the scene?
Apria: Honestly, I feel like I've always been an outsider looking in. I'm not gonna lie—I know I'm not the most alternative person. But I had a band in the scene, I have a lot of friends in the scene, and I love music and art. I just find it really interesting that even if I'm not totally integrated into the subcultures within the scene, I still have a deep appreciation for them.
And I feel like, as an artist, it's so nice to see other people doing something they truly care about. You know? I feel like the scene cares so much more about a bigger picture than just trying to gain followers. I love that there are so many fundraisers and messages or causes that people support.
I've always wanted to be a part of it in any way I could, even if I don’t have extensive knowledge about everything.
Ameer: What made you want to make music?
Apria: I've honestly been making music since I was about 14. I've always loved alternative, indie, and pop—those are the basics, I guess. I've been making music for a while, but since I don't play any instruments, I couldn't perform by myself. So I started a band, and our combined sound leaned toward alternative music.
Now, as a solo artist, I find myself connecting more with pop, but that doesn’t mean I appreciate alternative music any less or that I want to separate myself from the scene.
Ameer: How did you get into your other creative endeavors?
Apria: I realized that every creative person I know does everything. I feel like no one who's truly creative says, I'm only a singer. People who do that usually aren't very passionate about their work—they just want an escape from a nine-to-five.
But the people who live for this, the ones who have been doing it for as long as I can remember, they’re like, Oh yeah, I model, I do photography, I make YouTube videos, I'm in a band, I play piano... You just naturally end up doing other things.
Ameer: And why do you do what you do?
Apria: Honestly, I just want to create things that I would enjoy myself, and in doing that, I hope to find other people like me. I feel like by targeting that audience, I’ve made friends and met people I wouldn’t have otherwise.
I tried the whole college experience—going to parties—and I just didn’t connect with anyone. I didn’t know how to talk to those people. But you go to an art market, a show, or a listening party, and suddenly, making friends feels so much easier.
Ameer: So earlier, we were talking about how you’re kind of like an outsider looking in sometimes. Has anyone ever made you, I guess, really feel like an outsider?
Apria: Yes, many times. I feel like that obviously comes with every subculture, so this isn’t something specific to any one subculture. But I remember with my band, I had posted an Instagram reel of one of our performances—no corny caption or anything. I literally just posted a clip of our performance. Then one of my band members told me that a group of guys in the scene was saying that we were posers and trying too hard to be famous.
And that’s just one of many little things where I’m like—I know I may not know all the ropes, and I’m not some hardcore insider who knows everything I’m supposed to do. But I do feel like… I don’t even know if I should say this.
Ameer: Go ahead.
Apria: I do feel like the scene is very catered toward white men. And I feel like when you don’t do things on their terms, it becomes a little exclusive. I’ve noticed that there aren’t very many brown or Black people, or even women—especially on stage. There are fan girls, you know, people who buy the merch, but they’re not the ones making the money.
And I don’t ever want to step on any toes or have people call me a poser, like I’m somewhere I don’t belong. But I also don’t want to feel like I have to conform to these middle-aged white men telling me I can’t, you know? Because as a musician, you have to make content. You can’t just say, “The music will speak for itself.” Like, I want to pay my bills. I need to pay my car note. I want to make a name for myself.
And I don’t want to have to people-please in the process. I just hope that my authenticity speaks louder than my content creation.
Ameer: I feel that a lot, especially with how the space is so dominated by white guys. And I guess, as a trans man myself, I also feel like I need to perform in a certain way to be seen as a guy, like I need their approval for my masculinity—or lack of it.
Apria: Right.
Ameer: So I definitely understand that for sure.
Apria: I’ve never felt very tied to a gender my whole life. And because I present very feminine—I love femininity, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that—I feel like that’s another reason I’ve often felt like an outsider looking in. Even in a lot of queer spaces, because I look very “girl,” I feel like I’m not always taken seriously.
I think, unintentionally, a lot of nonbinary spaces have almost created a third binary—of what nonbinary is supposed to look like. And it’s a little frustrating. But that just made me think of what you said—how there are so many different intersectional spaces where, at the end of the day, I just want to be part of the space.
Ameer: Do you remember the first show you went to?
Apria: Honestly? Yes, I do. It was about three years ago.
I went with my friend Nick, and I’m not gonna lie—I don’t have any anxiety about meeting new people, but I do have a phobia of crowded spaces. Oh. So I remember going and feeling like I was gonna throw up. I was like, No. I don’t know anybody going. I’m freaking out.
And it was just nothing like going to a college party or some big function where it feels like the room is swallowing you whole. Even with all the loudness, the chaos, and my eardrums being in pain, I realized—nobody’s looking at you. Nobody’s wondering what you’re doing. Nobody cares if your makeup is messed up.
No one’s really perceiving you.
And that immediately clicked with me. I remember meeting some people, and I thought it was really fun.
Ameer: Do you remember the band or no?
Apira: Oh, God. I can't. I can't. I don't know. Actually, no. One of the bands playing was The Posers.
Ameer: Oh, nice!
Apira: I don't remember the other ones, I'm not gonna lie.
Ameer: So, kind of going off of first impressions and stuff, what was your first impression of the scene? Like, what were your first thoughts?
Apria: Honestly, I feel like every single event I've been to has left me with a different impression. I think the most important aspect of what makes a show or event good is the organizer. Yeah. Honestly, the organizer is the biggest part of it. I've noticed that, I mean, obviously, the venues and the people putting it together matter, but there are some spaces like House of J where I was like, everyone here is just so nice. I remember feeling like it was such a great place to play, and I felt really nervous at first. But then when I played, I was like, this was a really nice show.
And then there have been other moments with people where there’s this kind of exclusivity or gatekeeping mindset. Or there are people who use the scene, I don’t know how to word this without sounding messed up...but, yeah, I feel like some people—whether they’re artists or performers or not—use this scene as a form of self-expression, a way to have a safe space for queer people, for artists, for anyone like that. And that’s what makes the community. But there have definitely been some people I've come across who use the space as a means to an end, especially for violent thoughts or behavior. Like, yeah, “Oh, we’re punching people, we’re moshing!” But they’re not really buying merch, not really looking at the bands, not even knowing the bands' names. Just kind of going there to start something, or to touch someone, or to—whatever and that’s very frustrating.
And I think that’s a misconception for people who aren’t in it—that everyone just punches each other and stuff. But when you actually talk to people, they’re just like nerdy little, like, guy.
Ameer: Yeah. For sure. [laughter]
Apira: It’s not like that at all. Actually, everyone’s more socially awkward than, you know, any other space. And I think that’s honestly so nice because I’m kind of awkward.
Ameer: This will be my last question, but do you have any plans for the future that you can share?
Apria: Yes. I’ve honestly been so inspired by the scene and the way these events are, especially how good the exposure is for some events, like the ones Temptat hosts. This summer, I plan on having my own music event. It’ll be a mixed genre, so it won’t technically be a part of the scene, but it’ll definitely be a love letter to that. There will be rappers, I make pop music, and there’ll be live instruments, clothing vending, and everything. I want to have my solo music debut performance, and I figured the best way to do that would be to have a really cool event with artists, musicians, and anyone who wants to come and support. I don’t have a date yet, but I’m aiming for July. I’ll also be releasing my solo music.
Ameer: Exciting! I'll be there!
